


My Past, My Present, My Future

by frominsideacomputer



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Animagus, Battle of Hogwarts, F/M, Hogwarts, M/M, Were-Creatures, possible sirius and remus relationship, sad as fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-25 04:11:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4946212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frominsideacomputer/pseuds/frominsideacomputer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lol look at me tearing up my heart as i write this</p></blockquote>





	My Past, My Present, My Future

When Professor Remus Lupin boarded the Hogwarts express on September first for the first time in many years, he didn't know what he expected.   
He knew the Marauders wouldn't be there, in their usual compartment. But part of him believed that they might be.   
But then it turned out that he shared the journey with one of them and with Harry of course. Then again, Hermione Granger: brightest witch of her age, not so different from Lily Evans.   
So really, the only one who was really absent was Sirius. And he was the one Remus missed the most. 

When he arrived at the castle for the first time in so long, Lupin expected change. But somehow so many fragments of his past were scattered through the castle.   
He saw Snape bully Harry, like James had bullied Snape. He saw elements of James and Sirius in Fred and George Weasley, the new trouble makers. And then, then Harry showed him the map, and it was like he was a fifth year again.   
Especially because he saw all the surnames he was used to seeing.   
Potter. Pettigrew. Snape. Longbottom. Weasley. McGonagall. Malfoy. Black.   
The last was the most shocking and  the most heart breaking. Because he knew the map couldn't lie.  

Then came the events at the end of the school year. And the return to the shrieking shack. With all the right names present.   
Lupin.   
Pettigrew.  
Black.   
Potter. 

Moony.   
Wormtail.  
Padfoot.  
Prongs.   
Prongs was only there in the form of a patronus. But Remus felt James's presence in Harry. 

But seeing Sirius alive was the best thing that had happened to Remus since the crippling events of October 31st. Seeing Sirius safe was what helped him feel together again.   
But seeing Pettigrew escape also tore him apart.  

When Professor Lupin boarded the train home from Hogwarts, he wasn't expecting anyone to be there to meet him at Kings Cross. But when he heard his name being called on platform 9 3/4 and a conductor saying "He had this in his mouth." When Remus was handed a roll of parchment with just his name written on it, and a large black dog came bounding up to him, something was different. He didn't keep Sirius around, but he could feel change coming. 

 When Remus Lupin received a letter from Albus Dumbledore, asking him to go to No. 12 Grimmauld Place on July 31st, he prepared for the worst. He was met by Arthur and Molly Weasley, looking happy he'd come. He was met by the real Alastair Moody and mysterious Kingsley Shacklebolt. He was met by an excited Nympadora Call-me-Tonks.  
But most of all, after heading upstairs, he met a smiling, clean shaven Sirius Black, who almost teared up at the sight of him.   
"Remus." Sirius whispered.   
"Sirius."   
"It's been too long my friend."  

When Remus Lupin and the rest of the Order arrived at the department of mysteries he, they, were expecting a lot worse than they found.   
They found six feisty students, being held by Death Eaters. They found a Potter, a Longbottom, two Weasleys, a muggle-born who knew every spell there was to know and a misfit, slightly out of place wherever they went, but with a heart of gold.  

When Remus Lupin saw the green flash of light hit Sirius's chest, he didn't know what to do. He saw Harry ready murder Bellatrix for killing the only family he had left. And he saw himself in Harry. He wanted to point his wand at her chest and kill her for killing the only person he ever thought he'd love. 

 When Remus Lupin found himself falling in love with Tonks, he thought he couldn't be happier, but then the death of Dumbledore sent everything spiraling out of control. Suddenly everything was in fast forward.   
Suddenly he was married, and he loved Tonks so dearly. Suddenly Moody was dead and Harry, Ron and Hermione were off on their 'noble' quest to find the horcruxes, whilst the Order fought all the battles back home. 

When Remus Lupin found out he was going to be a father, he knew exactly who he'd make god-father. It would have been James, or Sirius. But, well, they weren't exactly around any more. He knew Harry was the best choice.   
When Teddy Lupin was born he couldn't have been happier, but his son was born into a time of war and chaos. A time where Death Eaters and Dementors haunted the streets. A time where perhaps the only people who could save them was dead or missing. 

 When Remus Lupin heard that Harry was back at Hogwarts, he got there as quickly as he could. He arrived in the Hog's Head and ran along the tunnel, the Order met and burst into the hall, causing Snape to flee the scene. 

When one of the largest battles in magical history began, Remus knew that they might not make it. So he kept Tonks by his side at all times. He couldn't lose her like he lost Sirius. 

Remus always held a glimmer of hope, even when it seemed like the battle was lost.   
He had this right until the end. 

 When Remus Lupin was hit by a killing curse at the same time as his wife, his last thought was to Harry. To hope that Harry would stop what his father had tried to 17 years ago. 

Remus Lupin died believing in a Potter.   
Remus Lupin died with the person he loved, in the place he held most dear.   
Remus Lupin died knowing Sirius would have admired his bravery.   
Remus Lupin died with hope that his son would grow up in a world without fear of Voldemort.   
Remus Lupin died believing in Harry.

**Author's Note:**

> lol look at me tearing up my heart as i write this


End file.
